I was riding the train today and one of my favorite passenger buddies was surprised to hear I had children and especially the age of my own, 11 and 13. He said shocked, " but I see you with the shoes and the clothes and I just always assumed 'Sex and the City.'" I responded very matter of factly, and just as confused as he was, "oh yes, it is Sex and the City. Just with kids." I never understood the end of your life in exchange for children type of mentality and I certainly never even made the attempt to grasp the concept of "mom jeans" or mom clothes....at all. It's a sad sad day in the world when the message conveyed is that when you have children you should do away with a sense of style, self esteem, or individuality, as if being dowdy, consumed, and lost is the recipe of a good parent. I dissent. In fact, I think that one of the integral ingredients for good parenting is absolutely loving yourself to death, refusing to lose your own sense of style and personality, and having a strong esteem. What can you offer a child that is dependent upon you when you don't know or care much about yourself? Progression, confidence, success and comfort breed the same. I personally made it a top priority not to compromise any pieces of my style and personality when I had my children. They were and they are always my number one priority but instead of feeling the need to put all things aside when I had my children, I felt empowered and inspired by them to proved that it is not a contradiction to maintain yourself while parenting. You can be loving, committed, responsible, and dedicated while looking fabulous, trendy, youthful and IN all at the same time. So yes, there is dance class and soccer practice for my daughter and football practice and track meets for my son, parenting conferences, and school events, but it's always with tight fitted designer jeans, the hottest heels and the cutest "in" bags and accessories, with the support and love of my children! No compromise. I'm just as involved and concerned with my children and their adventures as I would if I had a pair of ill fitted, out of style, faded pants on! So with that, I would encourage all parents to challenge yourself to keep your kids your number one but without losing sight of yourself and your own needs. Balance is always key. :-)
Yes, thank you for the reminder!!!
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely and obviously some of what I say is in fun and has to be put in appropriate perspective. There is a time and place for certain attire and as professional women and mothers we always have to be mindful of our audience, the stage and the example we set for our children. But with that said we do not have to lose ourselves or compromise our style or youth in doing so. The gist of this post is to exercise balance and continue to love ourselves while loving our children.
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog via The Fashion bomb. Thank you so much for that post! I'm expecting in 3wks & I sometimes worry about loosing myself. I've heard & seen some (working @ a children's hospital department) negative things about becoming a mother. I've heard beautifully positive things also & I've chosen to focus on those but once in a while nervousness seeps in & I wonder if I'm being selfish & superficial. Thanks for being a fab example that you can be everything you choose to be & that the addition of the title of mother doesn't mean you stop living your life. :-)
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Hey Mor!! Welcome to Milk and Honeeyz and thanks for the compliments and support. Congratulations on the new baby to be!! Becoming a mother is one of the most satisfying and empowering things on the planet (yes I'm being dramatic but hey I can't help it...lol)!!! And I couldn't agree with your perspective more... shun the negative and embrace the positive. The reality is there are always positives and challenges in every circumstances, and certainly parenting is one of those experiences that will encompass all that but overall it's amazing. With that, it's completely reasonable to be nervous, anxious, etc about becoming a mother and how that will impact you but as long as you know what you want for yourself and what you want for your child everything will fall into place. There'll be challenges and those times when things don't go exactly how you want it to go but ultimately you'll pull it together b/c you'll always have your vision. Don't lose your overall vision! :-)
DeleteYou are so right Lee. I am recently married (well, about a year and half now) and we've been talking kids. I've been a bit hesitant because I am so not ready for my life to change that much including trading my current wardrobe for mum jeans and sweat pants. I don't actually know where I got that idea from in the first place LOL. Nice to see that I don't really have to become dowdy and granma-like just because I've had a bub. Love the way you write by the way; I can almost see you talking when I read your blogs :-)
ReplyDeleteHey Audrey! Welcome to Milk and Honeeyz! I'm glad you enjoyed the post! I really do talk like this too. LOL. I'm talking while I'm typing most of the time! I'm also happy to hear that you plan to run from the mom jeans!!! :-) You can be a great mother and wife with a fabulous pair of jeans that make your butt look good! LOL. I hope you continue to check in with us and chime in! We love to hear from all of our honeeyz!
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