Something old, Something new, Something borrowed and Something blue

They say when you are getting married that you should incorporate something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue in your wedding ensemble.  I thought about that old saying after I decided to spice this outfit up with pops of blue accessories.  I also got to thinking of the significance of that saying and just marriage in general.  I was previously married for 8 years to my junior high boyfriend.  We were together for 14 years and had 2 fabulous kids and then we had one of the most ridiculously (and unnecessary) nasty divorces.  It's actually quite shameful but anyway, considering this old saying and the idea of marriage and weddings, the ever pressing question of remarriage entered my brain.  I'm often asked whether or not I would consider remarrying and people automatically assume that I wouldn't, considering the aforementioned ridiculous divorce, and the fact that I'm enjoying being single (maybe a little too much).  But the truth of the matter is, I'm absolutely looking forward to getting remarried and squeezing out another brat or 2... but when I'm good and ready!  I'm very much a commitment, stability kinda girl (hence the decade and half long relationship starting at the tender age of 13) with a dose of fun and crazy! But with all that said, I do love being in my own space right now and not having the responsibility of commitment and compromise...yes, it's a little selfish but again, I had all that responsibility for far too long, too early, with the wrong person and a sister is enjoying the time to be myself, to do what I want, come and go as I please, paint the walls whatever color I like, and all that good stuff.   It’s not just about being uncommitted that I’m loving, it’s the autonomy and the discretion,  learning and perfecting myself and seeing how I was built to endure, sustain and accomplish individually... knowing my worth and what I bring to the table. I’m not wilding out or acting crazy, I’m just taking care of me and only me for the first time in my adult life and I kinda deserve it and I'm having a ball doing it.  Will I be willing to give that up to sacrifice, compromise and agree with the best partner in the world…in a heartbeat! It’s always better to have a teammate…but it’s always detrimental when you have to carry someone or when you come to the table not whole.  I really believe that until I’m at the best that I can be, which requires some time with myself and some single chick experiences (yaaayy), that God is gonna hold on to the best partner for me.  And when that time comes, and I really don’t know when or where, I can say that I’m so much better than I was last year, the year before that and the year before that and I’ll be the best thing to happen to some lucky guy!! :-)

What I think is most significant about my desire to remarry at some point is that I didn't allow for a very negative experience and spiteful people to keep me from experiencing something honest and special down the line.  It’s not easy to move past disappointment or to get involved in a situation that was previously hurtful, but I’ve learned that I get to dictate my blessings and experiences, not someone else, and certainly not someone that I consciously made the decision to no longer share my life with.  Of course, past experiences are excellent resources for lessons learned and while I will remarry, this won’t be the same marriage (obviously, unless I want the same divorce…I think not)!! This final go around I will do my best to partner with someone who can keep up with me or even outpace my ambition, energy, drive, intelligence, courage, and curiosity and motivate me beyond measure…this will be my something new. And I’ll be sure that although I’m way better than I was the first go around, that I don’t lose myself. That I don’t totally compromise my personality and my character to accommodate someone who is just not at the same place (and never will be) that I’m at or who is not secure enough in themselves to allow me to be who I am.  I’ll continue to be the passionate, protective, loyal, fun, rebellious (in a good way) and optimistic woman that I am.  This will be my something old.  And I will be sure to find someone who’s style and confidence is so on point so much so that I fall in love over again, every time I see him.  A real man’s man that can handle business, protect me and stand up for me and what we believe in and who can hold it down and doesn’t constantly need his hand held and everything fed to him.  That will be my something blue.  

Dress: Banana Republic Monogram; Wedges: Not Too Coy; Bag: Marc by Marc Jacobs;  Necklace: Forever 21; Belt: Marshall's find (old); Spike Bracelet: BCBGeneration; Diamond Watch: Aqua Master

A Single Honeeyz Guide to Surviving and Loving Valentine's Day!

It's Valentine's Day and love is on the brain!! I love any holiday (true or made up) or tradition that promotes love, family and fun!!  February is one of my favorite months thanks to Valentine's, not to mention my Princess' bday is the following day on February 15th.  I get knee deep in the holiday b/c LOVE is the best feeling to have. My nails, my mood, my attitude and activities all reflect the feelings of love! I'm a happily single woman and it disappoints me when I see or hear women who aren't in a relationship deciding that Valentine's day is not for them simply b/c they don't have a man or when they start pretending they aren't interested in the occasion or that it's sooooo overrated (only b/c they don't have a Valentine to share it with bc we all know if someone offered them something they would be screaming off the nearest mountain top).   I personally don't need a significant other to be in love.  I love everything about God and everything he created about me and I jump for an opportunity to celebrate it and get in the spirit of love.  In addition to my love of God and the me he created,  as long as I live I will always have the loves of my life, Brycen and Cierra!  I say to those honeeyz that have given up on LOVE,  you don't need a man to celebrate love of yourself, love of God and love of those around you.  You have to know if you can't find love in yourself, appreciate the unconditional love of God, and learn to love your family and friends that blessing you with a man is the last thing on God's to do list so you gotta pull it together and starts where it matters the most!

Although I have 4 different dudes asking to be my Valentine and trying to line things up for the evening, I made sure to take care of myself first  so that I don't have to be dependent on some dude to make anything happen for me or piss me off and take me off of my LOVE square.  Here are a few things I've accomplished or plan to do in the interest of LOVE and any of you that fit in the above category should try one or all of the below:

1) Vday themed nails - you honeeyz should know by now that my nails are my personal art canvas and I figured love should be on display. Together they ready Love Lee as in "Love, Lee"or "lovely!" Loves it!! You can do the same with your attire or accessories. It does the trick. I look at my nails and have to think love! I don't even have a choice.  

2) Vday gifts purchased by Moi for Moi!- I picked out 2 super cute gifts from Marc Jacobs. They won't be in my possession until Thursday but I'm happy. I treated myself to exactly what I want so if nothing else comes I'm good! 


More ways to spoil yourself and get into the Vday mood with or without a significant other:

Act Like a LADY; Think Like a WOMAN

Forget whatever foolishness that Steve Harvey is trying to sell. There's nothing more attractive than a young LADY who is behaving and dressing the part. And there is nothing sexier or more empowering than a confident, educated and experienced WOMAN.  If you know what you want, are attentive enough and mature enough to compromise and improve, when necessary then there is no reason for any girl to act like a boy for the sake of a relationship??  It's really that simple and that easy.  All these rules, tricks and games just make things more complicated and ridiculous!  Besides, no real man wants their lady thinking like a boy; and no real woman needs to play a different gender role to have a successful love life. Period!!

With that said, lets move on to the fun part ...this cute little outfit!!! Lol. Polka dots and ruffles are an instant way to scream,  'I'm a laaaaaaaddyy (in my Sheneneh voice)!!!'  It's the ultimate lady-like combination. And as you honeeyz can see, dressing like a lady doesn't mean that you have to look super conservative and frumpy!  All you have to remember is to keep all of your style and attitude in the look and you will be the sexiest lady-like chick out there and in my experience, that whole look typically drives the boys crazy! :-). What types of prints, silhouettes, combinations and pieces do you Honeeyz go to when dressing like a laddddyy? 

Cardigan worn as a shirt and Earrings, H&M; Shorts, Modcloth @ www.modcloth.com; Shoes and Bag, L.A.M.B.; Watch, Gucci; Rosegold Bracelet, BCBGeneration.

 I thought the shorts had so much personality that the top and shoe didn't have to be too loud so I paired them with a lightweight, 3/4 sleeve, nude colored cardigan. The ruffles on the cardigan shoulders were perfectly fitting for the lady like theme. 

See the rest of the story in the form of pics below!!! 

Dating Chronicles: "Speed Dating"

The man I've been dating for the past 3 months
(in my deepest, darkest, most vivid fantasy)! LOL!
Picture courtesy on bottom left... (basically I
swiped this pic while stalking his Twitter page).
Lazzzzzzz!!!! Where are you? Save me love! Please!

This will be sort of like a roll call of men that I've encountered over the past few months while I was on blogging vacation.  Some of them I went on a date or two with, some I totally ignored, some are still hanging around by a thread, and some think we dated but failed to run that by me for approval (ummm no, Johnny I'm not in a relationship with you??).  With that, let me bring you honeeyz up to speed so you know what I've endured experienced as of late.  In the future, I'll try to post regularly what happens in my dating life as it unfolds.  But to be truthful, I'm avoiding the whole dating thing like the plague as of lately but trust me, you will not be bored b/c the things I go through and the fools I meet are worthy of a blog on its own.  So enjoy... on me! 

I've never had any issues getting a decent amount of play (I'm not bragging; I'm just saying).  It doesn't matter where I'm at or what I'm looking like (sweaty in the gym with hair tied back; in the grocery store with PJs on; etc), there is always some man or men that have something to say (it's usually something stupid and unworthy but they always got something to say).  My kids are witnesses, particularly Princess Cierra, who acts like my personal security when it comes to men...watching and scowling and barking at the men before they get a chance to say much of anything.  Anyways, here is a speedy rendition of a few of the "shining stars" in the bunch...(SIGHH):

Bachelor #1: The Little Boys -- I don't know what is going on as of late, but all the little boys want to come out and play??  I will say this here and now, I don't like guys younger than me.  I prefer a more seasoned MAN... 35 and up.  But bc my BFFs say I'm being too picky and dramatic in my dating life, I try to open my horizons and in came a slew of little kids.  There is the 28-year-old pharmacist and the 26-year-old medical student who are in rotation off and on right now.  Both are clearly educated and mature, but I swear when they start giggling at their own goofy little jokes it is difficult for me to endure.  So at this moment I'm dodging and avoiding both of them b/c I can only take them in small doses... the whole daycare thing is just hard for me!! My son is 15-years-old and I can barely deal with him on a regular basis so well you know.... I'm not saying all younger guys are problematic but you have to be prepared to endure those moments, big or small, when the gigantic child comes out of them. Sometimes its fun b/c with youthfulness comes spontaneity and adventure but at times it can be a bit much.  Proceed with caution!!
More bachelor categories after the break......

The Dating Chronicles

I've made a conscious (and maybe later to be regretted) decision to chronicle my dating life....for now. I figure if I'm gonna do it, date that is, I might as well share the mess with the rest of the world. Well actually, my favorite girlfriends (and one guy friend who actually asked me when was my reality show airing)laugh so hard at my crazy date stories or my inappropriate and misplaced responses to some things that shouldn't be deal breakers and some things are beyond deal breakers! I thought if I could make all of my 2 friends and 1 guyfriend laugh that maybe I can make you guys laugh so here goes my 1st entry!!!
- So I went out on what I'm going to affectionately refer to as "re-date." A "re-date" is not a simple circumstance of going on a subsequent date with the same guy, but in fact, when you have dated someone in the past...beyond the first date, and something bad happens and you stop, lose touch with that person, maybe even fall apart from that person, and stop thinking about them altogether. This is not a love story gone bad but just a dating situation that stopped working and you let go and moved on. Now, here comes that guy years later and asks for a do over essentially.... a date as if we didn't date and then didn't talk. It has been approximately 4 years since the last time I've seen him or dated him. He reached out to me via FB and I agreed to go out and I had lotttttsss of fun!!! But we always had fun so now what? Consider that part of the problem was we always had fun and that's exactly why I liked him and generally the extend of my fondness for him. He was funny, smart, nice, friendly and fun. But there was nothing else I felt beyond that. He was a great friend who helped create great times. So now what? Is there a chance when you engage in a re-date or are you just re-doing every that was done on the initial date?