Committed!

I wore this dress last weekend to my younger cousin's wedding.  It is an oldie but goodie from BCBG MaxAzria that I purchased in 2004 for my law school graduation party.  I have only worn it one other time in the 8 years that I've owned it and that was to another wedding back in 2005.  I absolutely love when you have a piece that keeps on giving and every time it gives it gives big...this dress is the epitome of the that notion!  At first, I wasn't sure if I was gonna wear this particular dress to the wedding because it's so open in the back and sides that you almost feel like it's impossible for this to be appropriate up in the church (for the actual ceremony).  But I tried this on, along with 2 other dresses, and my mom and daughter vetoed the others and this little number won hands down.  In the end, I'm glad I picked it b/c it turned out perfectly for a young, fun, hip, evening wedding and most importantly, I didn't get the impression that Jesus was rolling his eyes at me while I was sitting in the pew at His house (church)... LOL.  Initially, I wasn't sure about which shoes to wear with the dress and was torn between the black strappy sandal and the taupe and metallic MaxAzria sandal (you guys will see me in either shoe in the pics).  Ultimately, I decided on keeping it simple since the dress and jewelry is so extra and I went with the black Manolos for the wedding.  I was completely satisfied and comfortable with the look! What do you honeeyz think? What pieces do you have in your closet that gives you life every time you slip it on?? 

The MILK of it is, I was so happy to see my cousin marry his best friend and make a huge commitment to love her forever.  There is nothing like a man who knows when it's time to be a real man and make a commitment to his family in front of others and before God.  I know in this crazy world we live in now we don't see it often. Far too frequently we see men treating women like crap, juggling an array of women at one time and just being messy and immature...(i.e. Sleazy J. of Love and Hip Hop ATL...you know who I'm talking about, unfortunately).  We see women settling for designer shoes and handbags and accepting that as an alternative to true commitment.  It's unfortunate.  I know it's hard to stick to your guns and standards when the world seems to be cultivating new expectations and standards but I say don't give in and don't give up.  Self respect, integrity and love is the most important thing you can have, and even if that means being alone then so be it.  If someone is not mature, selfless and intelligent enough to make some level of commitment to you or your relationship then that's their issue not yours. 

Click Below for MORE Photos and a change in shoes...let me know which you prefer with the dress...the black or the taupe??!! :-)

Something old, Something new, Something borrowed and Something blue

They say when you are getting married that you should incorporate something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue in your wedding ensemble.  I thought about that old saying after I decided to spice this outfit up with pops of blue accessories.  I also got to thinking of the significance of that saying and just marriage in general.  I was previously married for 8 years to my junior high boyfriend.  We were together for 14 years and had 2 fabulous kids and then we had one of the most ridiculously (and unnecessary) nasty divorces.  It's actually quite shameful but anyway, considering this old saying and the idea of marriage and weddings, the ever pressing question of remarriage entered my brain.  I'm often asked whether or not I would consider remarrying and people automatically assume that I wouldn't, considering the aforementioned ridiculous divorce, and the fact that I'm enjoying being single (maybe a little too much).  But the truth of the matter is, I'm absolutely looking forward to getting remarried and squeezing out another brat or 2... but when I'm good and ready!  I'm very much a commitment, stability kinda girl (hence the decade and half long relationship starting at the tender age of 13) with a dose of fun and crazy! But with all that said, I do love being in my own space right now and not having the responsibility of commitment and compromise...yes, it's a little selfish but again, I had all that responsibility for far too long, too early, with the wrong person and a sister is enjoying the time to be myself, to do what I want, come and go as I please, paint the walls whatever color I like, and all that good stuff.   It’s not just about being uncommitted that I’m loving, it’s the autonomy and the discretion,  learning and perfecting myself and seeing how I was built to endure, sustain and accomplish individually... knowing my worth and what I bring to the table. I’m not wilding out or acting crazy, I’m just taking care of me and only me for the first time in my adult life and I kinda deserve it and I'm having a ball doing it.  Will I be willing to give that up to sacrifice, compromise and agree with the best partner in the world…in a heartbeat! It’s always better to have a teammate…but it’s always detrimental when you have to carry someone or when you come to the table not whole.  I really believe that until I’m at the best that I can be, which requires some time with myself and some single chick experiences (yaaayy), that God is gonna hold on to the best partner for me.  And when that time comes, and I really don’t know when or where, I can say that I’m so much better than I was last year, the year before that and the year before that and I’ll be the best thing to happen to some lucky guy!! :-)

What I think is most significant about my desire to remarry at some point is that I didn't allow for a very negative experience and spiteful people to keep me from experiencing something honest and special down the line.  It’s not easy to move past disappointment or to get involved in a situation that was previously hurtful, but I’ve learned that I get to dictate my blessings and experiences, not someone else, and certainly not someone that I consciously made the decision to no longer share my life with.  Of course, past experiences are excellent resources for lessons learned and while I will remarry, this won’t be the same marriage (obviously, unless I want the same divorce…I think not)!! This final go around I will do my best to partner with someone who can keep up with me or even outpace my ambition, energy, drive, intelligence, courage, and curiosity and motivate me beyond measure…this will be my something new. And I’ll be sure that although I’m way better than I was the first go around, that I don’t lose myself. That I don’t totally compromise my personality and my character to accommodate someone who is just not at the same place (and never will be) that I’m at or who is not secure enough in themselves to allow me to be who I am.  I’ll continue to be the passionate, protective, loyal, fun, rebellious (in a good way) and optimistic woman that I am.  This will be my something old.  And I will be sure to find someone who’s style and confidence is so on point so much so that I fall in love over again, every time I see him.  A real man’s man that can handle business, protect me and stand up for me and what we believe in and who can hold it down and doesn’t constantly need his hand held and everything fed to him.  That will be my something blue.  

Dress: Banana Republic Monogram; Wedges: Not Too Coy; Bag: Marc by Marc Jacobs;  Necklace: Forever 21; Belt: Marshall's find (old); Spike Bracelet: BCBGeneration; Diamond Watch: Aqua Master