Something old, Something new, Something borrowed and Something blue

They say when you are getting married that you should incorporate something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue in your wedding ensemble.  I thought about that old saying after I decided to spice this outfit up with pops of blue accessories.  I also got to thinking of the significance of that saying and just marriage in general.  I was previously married for 8 years to my junior high boyfriend.  We were together for 14 years and had 2 fabulous kids and then we had one of the most ridiculously (and unnecessary) nasty divorces.  It's actually quite shameful but anyway, considering this old saying and the idea of marriage and weddings, the ever pressing question of remarriage entered my brain.  I'm often asked whether or not I would consider remarrying and people automatically assume that I wouldn't, considering the aforementioned ridiculous divorce, and the fact that I'm enjoying being single (maybe a little too much).  But the truth of the matter is, I'm absolutely looking forward to getting remarried and squeezing out another brat or 2... but when I'm good and ready!  I'm very much a commitment, stability kinda girl (hence the decade and half long relationship starting at the tender age of 13) with a dose of fun and crazy! But with all that said, I do love being in my own space right now and not having the responsibility of commitment and compromise...yes, it's a little selfish but again, I had all that responsibility for far too long, too early, with the wrong person and a sister is enjoying the time to be myself, to do what I want, come and go as I please, paint the walls whatever color I like, and all that good stuff.   It’s not just about being uncommitted that I’m loving, it’s the autonomy and the discretion,  learning and perfecting myself and seeing how I was built to endure, sustain and accomplish individually... knowing my worth and what I bring to the table. I’m not wilding out or acting crazy, I’m just taking care of me and only me for the first time in my adult life and I kinda deserve it and I'm having a ball doing it.  Will I be willing to give that up to sacrifice, compromise and agree with the best partner in the world…in a heartbeat! It’s always better to have a teammate…but it’s always detrimental when you have to carry someone or when you come to the table not whole.  I really believe that until I’m at the best that I can be, which requires some time with myself and some single chick experiences (yaaayy), that God is gonna hold on to the best partner for me.  And when that time comes, and I really don’t know when or where, I can say that I’m so much better than I was last year, the year before that and the year before that and I’ll be the best thing to happen to some lucky guy!! :-)

What I think is most significant about my desire to remarry at some point is that I didn't allow for a very negative experience and spiteful people to keep me from experiencing something honest and special down the line.  It’s not easy to move past disappointment or to get involved in a situation that was previously hurtful, but I’ve learned that I get to dictate my blessings and experiences, not someone else, and certainly not someone that I consciously made the decision to no longer share my life with.  Of course, past experiences are excellent resources for lessons learned and while I will remarry, this won’t be the same marriage (obviously, unless I want the same divorce…I think not)!! This final go around I will do my best to partner with someone who can keep up with me or even outpace my ambition, energy, drive, intelligence, courage, and curiosity and motivate me beyond measure…this will be my something new. And I’ll be sure that although I’m way better than I was the first go around, that I don’t lose myself. That I don’t totally compromise my personality and my character to accommodate someone who is just not at the same place (and never will be) that I’m at or who is not secure enough in themselves to allow me to be who I am.  I’ll continue to be the passionate, protective, loyal, fun, rebellious (in a good way) and optimistic woman that I am.  This will be my something old.  And I will be sure to find someone who’s style and confidence is so on point so much so that I fall in love over again, every time I see him.  A real man’s man that can handle business, protect me and stand up for me and what we believe in and who can hold it down and doesn’t constantly need his hand held and everything fed to him.  That will be my something blue.  

Dress: Banana Republic Monogram; Wedges: Not Too Coy; Bag: Marc by Marc Jacobs;  Necklace: Forever 21; Belt: Marshall's find (old); Spike Bracelet: BCBGeneration; Diamond Watch: Aqua Master

Take Some Time to Smell the Flowers

The weather projections for today were mid 70s and sunny.  In actuality, the weather turned out to be closer to mid 60s, cloudy, cool and misty.  Total opposite.  In preparation for what the weatherman originally predicted, I decided to wear this floral skirt I picked up from H&M this past weekend (only $18 by the way). Everyone is going bonkers for floral print these days and I’m always in love with a great pattern and bright contrasting colors so this skirt fit the bill. Anywho, back to taking time to smell the flowers… on a very small scale of things I could’ve been easily frustrated with the inaccurate weather predictions or allowed for the gloomy day to put me in an equally gloomy mood, and of course that would’ve been so ridiculous b/c that’s such a trivial issue.  But people do it all the time with even more substantive things.  They often allow for frustrating and unpredictable circumstances to negatively color their mood and their feelings...

 

Life can be complicated and no one said it would be a perpetual cakewalk, but there are also so many opportunities and situations where you can be much more appreciative, much more reflective and much more grateful b/c on the other side, things can always be way worse.  There is something or someone out there experiencing things beyond your comprehension and no matter what is happening to you, you have the opportunity and choice to stop and smell the flowers.  Flowers don’t stop blooming just bc of what is going on in your life.  They even say a rose can grow out of a crack in a sidewalk.  Of course, I’m speaking mostly metaphorically when I’m talking about 'smelling flowers'… I’m really just saying that there’s always a brighter side; there’s always a miracle before you and there’s always beauty around you, no matter what you are going through.  Take the time to tap into that, particularly when things are less than desirable.  Some days may be more irritating, more complicated and more challenging than others.  Some days seemingly don’t work from start to finish but try to keep things in perspective and remember that you have the option to smell the roses, pick the flowers, and play in the garden no matter what else is going on.  

Lately, I’ve been constantly thinking about Trayvon Martin and his family since hearing about his murder and how senseless and meaningless it was; how devastating it must be to lose a child and for no reason at all... and then to be mistreated by the same system that you rely on for justice and protection is unbearable.  I think of that and there is nothing, not one single thing, going on in my life that could be worse than what I imagine that child experienced in the last moments of his life and what his parents and family are enduring now.  It breaks my heart everyday and with that tragedy, I’m reminded (particularly as a mother to a young black boy that’s no different than Trayvon and as an attorney who knows that the case is not being handled properly), I have no reason…not one single reason…to complain. I CAN see the flowers blooming. RIP Trayvon Martin. 

Flower Pencil Skirt: H&M; Cardigan: Old Navy; Belt: Forever21; Black Scalloped Pumps: Prada; Pink Diamond Watch: AquaMaster; Studded Bracelet: BCBGeneration; Beaded Turquoise Necklace: Forever 21; Bag: Juicy Couture; Earrings: Gifted from Mom; Short Trench; H&M

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